Supporting Two Elderly Parents Without Losing Yourself

Anyone who has been a caregiver for an aging parent can tell you how stressful it can be. But supporting two elderly parents simultaneously, balancing between two unique sets of needs, schedules, and personalities? If you’re in this position, it might feel as though you’re holding it all together by a thread, and there are many important factors to bear in mind to safeguard your wellbeing and ensure you are there for both of them in the long run.

Recognizing the Signs of Burnout When Supporting Two Elderly Parents

Burnout can sneak up on anyone, but it often comes faster when you’re balancing the needs of two different people. Maybe one parent requires help getting to frequent medical appointments, while the other needs daily assistance with meals and personal care. If feelings of mental drain, irritability, and exhaustion become your daily norm, it’s a clear sign that you have burnout. It is vital to identify these signs early and take measures to ease stress to keep from reaching a breaking point.

Coping With Conflict Between Elderly Parents

When taking care of both parents, there may be times when they disagree with each other. Longstanding disagreements, frustrations, and differences in opinions can bubble up to the surface, and caregiving stress may intensify those tensions. In these moments, make an effort to remain neutral and provide a listening ear to both sides without taking on the role of referee. You might suggest they take a breather or spend some time in separate spaces if the situation allows, to let each person calm down. Encouraging them to share their feelings openly, without judgment, will often defuse conflict. Of course, if disagreements become an everyday struggle, consider involving a mediator or a counselor who specializes in conflicts between older adults. Outside support can help both parents feel heard while decreasing the strain on you as the caregiver.

Setting Boundaries for Your Sanity and Wellbeing

Boundaries are essential when supporting two elderly parents who have distinct needs. While it might feel difficult to step back, setting small boundaries will make a big difference in preserving your energy and patience. Begin by establishing regular breaks, even if it is just a few hours every week with the help of respite care. Recognize that boundaries aren’t about distancing yourself; they are about making certain you are able to give them the very best care possible without burning out.

Finding a Support System

Caring for aging parents can feel isolating, and quite often it’s tough to find somebody who understands the additional challenges of dual caregiving. Connecting with other caregivers in similar situations can provide relief and encouragement. Seek out caregiver support groups in your community or online where you can find camaraderie, share experiences, and seek advice.

Embrace Self-Care

Caring for a couple does not leave a lot of time for yourself, but self-care is more essential than ever during these circumstances. Even small moments, like a lunch break with a friend or a couple of hours to read a book, can recharge you and help avoid burnout. Remember, when you take time to care for yourself, you are better equipped to care for your parents.

Knowing When It’s Time to Step Back

There may come a point when you realize that proceeding as the sole caregiver is no longer sustainable for you or helpful for your parents. If caregiving is consistently impacting your physical health, mental wellbeing, or relationships with others, it may be time for you to consider stepping back. Shifting to professional support, such as in-home help, can offer a well-balanced solution. Remember, opting to step back does not mean you are walking away from your loved ones. It means you are recognizing their evolving needs and choosing the best path forward to ensure their safety and your wellbeing.

Finding Balance on a Complex Journey

Let CareWorks Health Services help you help your parents. We provide customized senior care solutions in Huntington Beach, Seal Beach, Laguna Woods, and throughout Orange County that will fit the needs of your family and give you the healthy balance you need. Reach out to us any time at (949) 859-4700 for details.