The Way Someone With Dementia Experiences the World and How You Can Help

A woman who is trying to understand the way someone with dementia experiences the world places her hand on her mother’s shoulder.

The way someone with dementia experiences the world can be hard to understand, but these tips will help you stay connected to the person you love.

The way someone with dementia experiences the world isn’t always grounded in our current reality. One of the more heart-wrenching yet powerful experiences you may encounter is something called time-shifting. It isn’t just forgetting what day it is; it’s a complete immersion in a different era of their life. As an example, perhaps you are sitting together at the dining room table, and all of a sudden, your older loved one thinks they are a young adult waiting for their parents to come home. It’s disorienting for them and may be equally perplexing for you. But understanding time-shifting can help make those moments more manageable—and even meaningful.

What Exactly Is Time-Shifting?

Time-shifting happens when someone with dementia feels as though they are living in an alternate era from their past. Beyond reminiscing, it’s a genuine belief that they are currently in that particular timeframe. For them, the here and now fades, replaced by vivid memories that feel as real as today. They may call out for individuals who passed away years ago or speak about events that occurred decades earlier as if they were happening now.

Simple Tips to Cope With Time-Shifting Moments

When time-shifting happens, it’s instinctive to want to correct the person’s perception, to gently remind them that they’re here, with you, in the present. However, we know that this tactic often leads to confusion, frustration, or even distress. As an alternative, try becoming a part of their reality. Validate their feelings, understand what they’re expressing, and react with empathy. If they’re anxious about an appointment with their parents, for instance, you might say, “It sounds like you truly care about being on time. They must have meant a lot to you.” This reaction can provide comfort with no jarring reminder that their parents are not around anymore.

Creating Connection Through Their World

Time-shifting is often a way to create moments of connection with the individual you love. Ask questions about the time they are absorbed in, such as, “What is something you’re excited to do when your parents get home?” Questions of this nature can inspire storytelling that engages them while offering you a deeper perception of their past. You may hear stories you have never heard before or learn details that enable you to get closer.

Looking After Yourself

It’s critical to recognize that time-shifting can be exhausting for you emotionally. Seeing a loved one drift into another time and place can make you feel lost. Make certain you have support, whether from friends, family, or professional resources. Joining a dementia care support group can also give you helpful tips and camaraderie from other people who really know what you are dealing with. Remember, you do not have to feel alone in this.

Our Dementia Caregivers Can Help

Though we know how hard it can be, time-shifting moments offer a view into the life experiences which have shaped your loved one. And we are here to help you each step of the way in looking after someone you love with dementia. Our professional caregivers are fully trained and experienced in the unique nuances of dementia and are available to help in Huntington Beach, Mission Viejo, Seal Beach, and throughout Orange County. Call us at (949) 859-4700 for a complimentary in-home meeting to find out more.